Let’s start the conversation

man holding binoculars

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts; therefore guard accordingly.” – Marcus Aurelius

Ol’ silhouette

As I take my first steps in the goose field opening morning these wise words will be in my heart.  The reason I started this article with these words is I didn’t expect to set foot into the field this year.  If I had my way all those months ago I wouldn’t even be here to share my story.  Therefore it’s with an over abundance of gratitude I’m setting my decoys and will be blowing on my call. 
It has been a year marked by an upheaval of life changing events and war with depression and anxiety.  Even though some of the credit belongs to professionals that have aided me along the way, I can proudly sling the ol’ 12 gauge over my shoulder and take my victory hike.  My hike begins under the cover of darkness, it represents my victory march.  As I walk I will be humbly reminded of all I have lost and where I have been this year.  From the cold winter nights drifting between sleeping in my truck or under some old dead fall where I had hunted deer last fall.  While only coming out the woods to struggle to hold down a job due to the effects of a mental breakdown.  For the most part even the thought of human interaction scared the life right out of me.  Right down to that bitter cold February night when I felt my time had run out and took a bottle of pills in an attempt to end my suffering. 
I distinctly remember the feeling of the morning sun as I came to.  That foggy disconnected feeling of failure still to this day makes me cringe.  That morning I remember pulling myself up off the ground and going to work. I parked my truck two miles from work and walked the rest of the way out of fear of being found.  It took many months and lots of help for me to finally come out of that fog.  Yet from that night and through every humbling step of my battle with depression and anxiety here I am.  Tonight as I’m oiling my gun and checking everything twice in between sharing this story I am gratefully counting down the minutes until the first light shines on the season that I might have missed.  I can tell you proudly I belong and so do you.  No matter the darkness you are facing there is a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel.

Hit ‘em with a Buck Gardner call

Leave a Reply


One thought on “Let’s start the conversation

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: